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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507559">Starlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenojaemin/pseuds/jenojaemin'>jenojaemin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 03:36:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenojaemin/pseuds/jenojaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeno couldn’t stop himself. “Renjun, can I ask you something?” He says. </p><p>Renjun hums into his red solo cup. “Shoot.” Too nonchalant for the impending question. </p><p>“What am I to you?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Starlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well... Hi again. Hope you’re all doing well (have you streamed From Home today? No? Well go fix that!)</p><p>Lately, despite being November, it’s been rather temperate where I am, and warm, night air seems to get to me and make me overly poetic (like I wasn’t to begin with). I also watched only a bit of Save NCT Dream and was slapped in the face with how much I adore noren. So this fic came about because of that. </p><p>I hope you enjoy and please let me know if you did xx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was one of those late summer nights. The kind where the sunset dragged daytime heat along with it, only lingering humidity in the air as dusk enveloped the city, the hum of nightlife rising. The kind of night where everything felt inconsequential and fleeting - yet somehow comforting. Humbling. To realize your own existence is futile but to not panic over it. To take it in stride and relinquish all your worries, at least for a moment. Nothing seemed to matter, staring up at the filtered stars, clouded by light pollution, still flickering bright enough to remind you of how small you were in the grand scheme of the universe. The kind of night that made you want to confess every sin you’ve ever committed and every love you’ve ever had. And Jeno was adamant about the latter the second he saw Renjun that night, dusted in pink orange sunlight, and smiling brighter than the star itself. </p><p>Maybe some part of him always knew he felt this way. They had known each other for the longest time - their friend group inseparable since middle school into present day, as housemates in university. Jeno loved them all. Despite all the teasing and being pushed around - he seemed to be the resident punching bag, mostly because he never really retaliated with anything but a wide smile and the occasional forehead flick  - Jeno did really appreciate his friends more than anything. And he wasn’t ashamed to admit he loved them, even if they teased him for saying so. </p><p>But when it was just Renjun - when it was just the two of them, alone, standing shoulder to shoulder on a strangers balcony, cheeks flushed with summer heat and cheap alcohol - Jeno’s security in expressing himself dropped to zero. </p><p>He had always been pretty, Renjun. Since he was young he had the face of an angel, and he wasn’t blind to his seemingly innocent appearance (or how comical it was in contrast to his very dissimilar personality). Even though he took comments like those in stride - that he was mean or easy to anger - Renjun was, in a word, gentle. </p><p>Because he knew when it was too much. He knew when the jokes were going too far, when people didn’t see the humour in a situation, whether he caused it or not, and he nipped it in the bud the second he sensed someone was uncomfortable. Everything was all in good fun. And Rejun was a lot more caring and kind than the image he portrayed, and that might have been why Jeno found it hard to believe when he began daydreaming about his own roommate more and more. </p><p>He never saw Renjun like that - mean, that is, though not romantically, either. He hadn’t even considered it. Not because of their respective gender - he was fairly open and comfortable with his sexuality, and Renjun even more so - but because of their prior relationship. Friendships can easily blossom into something more, and often do, but it never felt like it evolved for Jeno. It was the same feeling, only stronger - more potent. To the point where he considered Renjun such a close friend it seemed odd that the word ‘friend’ even described him, because he was always so much more. </p><p>He was, really. Renjun was everything and more. He was comedy and grace and a source of happiness and familiarity. He was warmth incarnate - comfort itself. Jeno didn’t rely on him for these things but rather knew that, no matter what, he would have them if he needed them - and unconditionally. Because Renjun loved him, too. And it only filled him with joy for seconds when he remembered this, because it was always followed by his realization that he wasn’t the only one loved by Renjun. And, sometime this year - he doesn’t know when - Jeno began to desperately want to be the only one. Jeno began to feel heartbroken over something Renjun wasn’t even aware he was doing, and he hated himself for it. </p><p>Because everything started to hurt. It began slow - seeds of jealousy sowed and germinating before Jeno even realized he had been a hospitable environment. Because it didn’t seem like this could ever happen to him. It didn’t seem like Jeno was the type to fall for his best friend - he didn’t feel like he was the type to fall for anyone. Emotions never got to him - feelings made him squirm and the thought of emotional intimacy was nearly nauseating. So when Jeno found himself angered over seemingly inconsequential things - Renjun laying his feet in Jaemin’s lap as they watched tv, draping his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder as they walked to class, even just laughing too hard at Mark’s jokes or smiling too longingly when Chenle spoke - it crawled under his skin. And Jeno began to hate himself more than he loved Renjun. </p><p>But it never lasted long. Jeno felt disgusted with himself over his own jealousy. He felt like the worst person on the planet for how petty he had become, even if it was only inside his mind. But it faded so quick when it was just them. When it was Jeno’s shoulder Renjun fell asleep on during a movie. When it was Jeno’s hand he grabbed while laughing. When it was Renjun, Jeno couldn’t ever feel bad. </p><p>And when they stood together - this stupid party Donghyuck dragged them to, boasting about girls and booze only to spend most of the night playing an overly competitive, loud game of table tennis with Chenle - shoulder to shoulder, like this. Jeno’s beer soaked liver or general stupidity got the best of him and before he knew it, he was saying all those things he had bottled up for longer than he even knew. </p><p>Jeno couldn’t stop himself. “Renjun, can I ask you something?” He says. </p><p>Renjun hums into his red solo cup. “Shoot.” Too nonchalant for the impending question. </p><p>“What am I to you?”</p><p>Renjun gulps the last of his beer along with the casualty of his previous response. “What do you mean…?” He asks, his tone telling he might already know the answer. </p><p>“I don’t know.” Jeno finds himself replying, still unsure of how he even wants to broach the subject, having not thought it through for even a second before he spoke. “It’s just… You’re important to me.” Alcohol seemed to lower Jeno’s aversion to intimacy, and heighten Renjun’s usually quite calm nerves. His eyes are wide as Jeno continues to speak, the dam of long kept secrets broken over a few cans of beer and a beautiful summer night breeze. “More important than a friend.”</p><p>Jeno’s cheeks are damp and flushed. From booze or humidity but likely embarrassment, despite how seemingly confident his words sounded. But Renjun isn’t far behind, and it’s the biggest relief of Jeno’s life to see his teeth gnaw at a growing, flattered smile, his eyes downcast, and his cheeks, too, glowing red. </p><p>“You’re like. My favourite thing in the world.” Jeno continues, his confidence reassured by his friends bashful response. “You’re - I don’t know. Just - something about you. Maybe I’m stupid or drunk or whatever but really - everything about you. You’re just-“</p><p>“Oh my god, shut up already.” Renjun peeps, his face hidden the second he speaks, pressing against Jeno’s shoulder. But despite the rather harsh words and the way he was cut off, Jeno feels nothing but butterflies in his stomach. Renjun’s small hands grip Jeno’s sweatshirt sleeve as he laughs, embarrassed, shy -  so unlike him. “You’re going to be the death of me, Jeno Lee.”</p><p>It’s as if Jeno sees him for the first time again when he finally looks up, sharp eyes crinkling, darting over Jeno’s face as a silent message to him that he understood - that he felt the same. That his gaze lingering on Jeno’s lips as a request - and Jeno would always do anything Renjun asked him. </p><p>It’s not much of a kiss, really. Renjun is still smiling to himself and Jeno is afraid he may pass out any second, but their lips meet. Inside the humid air of late August, away from the noise and hustle of the abandoned party, Jeno closed the gap he had grown to so despise. </p><p>It felt like capturing starlight. Like a distant, untouchable glow resting in the palm of his hand - delicate and fragile and oh so precious, Renjun was. Now staring back at him with his smile dropped and instead an adoring and almost scared gaze at someone Jeno had never thought could consider him for more than what they had been for years. </p><p>But they hadn’t been friends - not in the way Jeno thought they were. Because Renjun’s eyes flutter closed once more, his warmth consuming Jeno as their mouths met again - so soft and chaste Jeno felt as though he may have been dreaming. This - the moment they shared together - was a culmination of everything they had hidden from each other all these years. Jeno realizes - with a soft sigh into his mouth and delicate fingers curling around his neck - he had only fallen for Renjun, because Renjun had tripped first. And everything Jeno thought he was reading into was only hearsay, because Renjun did his best to make those moments seem platonic - when really, it never had been. And in picking up on that, without noticing, Jeno’s feelings began to mirror his. </p><p>Looking back, it’s all so obvious now. How all these things that drove Jeno insane were valid - his seemingly unrealistic daydreams turning up accurate. And Jeno feels like a fool for ever doubting himself, knowing he could’ve had this - Renjun’s lips against his and his tongue meeting his own, their bodies flush without regard to the heat of the summer or possible onlookers - for ages.</p><p>Renjun is smiling again when they break, Jeno’s lifetime of longing returning without the contact he was sure he had become addicted to in those few seconds. He feels unreal - like he’s delusional, like Renjun is a figment of his imagination because nothing that could make him this happy could be real, but maybe his luck had turned around. Because he was real. And he existed within Jeno’s arms - within his heart, as he always had been only now, Jeno was aware that it was mutual. That he wanted him just as much, and for just as long. And he’s all too thankful to finally have him. </p><p>“It took you long enough.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my cc: https://curiouscat.qa/ilovetaem</p></blockquote></div></div>
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